As i am sure we are all aware, i am a woman. Stop giggling - you know who you are.
As women we all get emotional, and if you are a woman reading this don't say you don't because you'd be a liar.
i woke up emotional, moody and cranky. i am beyond tired. i am not sleeping well and i am not sure what the reason is, exactly.
i asked Master if i could please not get up at 6:15am and do my routine so that i could try and get some extra rest tomorrow morning. i will do it when i wake. He approved it to see if the extra rest will work.
He also knows me very very well and knew that something was bothering me. Unfortunately He has to drag it out of me. i don't know how to change that. What punishment could be brought to me if i don't tell Him what is on my mind and would that even work?
Here is what is bothering me. One a friend asked me to join Match.com with her. i let this question stew in my mind since Saturday. i was afraid to ask Master. i never want Him thinking i want anyone but Him. But on the other hand, He knows how lonely i get and this way He will be able to pick and choose who i go out with and when. Sort of the perfect scenario. He will never share me or give me away so i still feel secure just hanging out with others from the opposite sex. He won't allow me to have sex with anyone else, nor does He want me to become seriously involved. i am for Him only and i am completely happy with that. That is all i want and need.
Other things that are bothering me would be my ex, which Master has stated i can do nothing about, and money. i still worry about money A LOT even though Master is in control of it now.
How can i just allow myself to not worry? It's true that i don't have to because He handles everything, but how do i just release my brain to be able to do that? Any ideas? Say my mantra over and over again until i don't think about what stresses me anymore? i need help with this. Please.
Then Master told me He had to leave me early today and i wanted to cry. Dumb right. i mean i will talk to Him tomorrow. Insert unnecessary emotion here. He must think i'm a loon.
i'm forced to exercise tonight and then take it easy for the rest of the evening. See what happens tomorrow with my nonsense.
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