Feeling lonely. Physically. Not mentally. i know Master has me, not worried about that or concerned. i'm stable and secure. It's just a physical thing. i miss being touched and held. Miss being physically comforted.
i feel very uncomfortable around men anymore. Even a friend. There is a wall of resistance. i'm scared of them. i don't want anyone to touch me but Master.
So here i am saying i miss being physical. But here is what happens. i'm allowed out with someone and i go to dinner. After dinner i feel obligated to give something physical to someone because they are nice to me and i know its what they want and what they are thinking, but i don't want to do that. But i feel pressured. But i don't do it because Master would kill me. So i feel the guilt of not doing it, but glad that i didn't because its what Master wants. Mental conflict?
i need to stop overthinking....................
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